You should spend your summer on Love Island
The other night at dinner, child #2 made a comment that he was surprised a seemingly intelligent person (me) would watch reality television. Now, first, I should note that child #2 is legally not a child but my standard of minor status is based primarily on whether I am still paying for said person to eat/sleep/live. Second, I will push past the irony that someone who thought “Bye Felicia” came from a Vine three years ago is judging me for my cultural exposure. And third, I can only imagine the level of judgment had this child known me when I was still watching “Flavor of Love” or “Real World Road Rules: The Challenge.” (No criticism of the latter by the way; sadly it isn’t consistently available across the seven streaming platforms I pay for and now I don’t know the majority of the people participating).
Honestly, just typing the above began a short YouTube spiral that led to one of my favorite moments in the history of television and something that lives rent-free in my head for eternity: CT wearing Johnny Bananas like a backpack and then walking like a Transformer (go to 1:01).
Watching that makes me want to go back to the Challenge. I’m not even sure I should spend any time writing the rest of this.
About a year ago, my eldest brother and sister-in-law recommended I start watching “Love Island UK” and it’s easily the greatest gift I’ve received from him. Of course, this is the same brother who also forgot to get me a birthday present for my 13th, 14th and 15th birthdays so the bar was low. (He did kind of make up for it by getting me my first cell phone for my 16th birthday but then two years later he stole my “Les Mis” soundtrack so he was back at zero for a while. I guess also thank you to my other brother who gifted me a new copy of the “Les Mis” soundtrack after eldest brother kept “forgetting” to bring it back to our house from his apartment).
Here’s the thing: selling reality TV to people isn’t the easiest as they either already get it and love it (regardless of Mensa status) or they just haven’t found their reality program yet. Some entry points are easier than others… “The Bachelor” is tough unless you want to spend four to six hours a week watching aspiring Instagram influencers pretend to be attracted to the same milquetoast person so that once the show is over they can create sponsored content for tea that reduces bloating. However, that first episode when they introduce the contestants and several of them wear bad costumes or deliver terrible puns is almost always a solid one.
The Real Housewives franchise can be hard to defend to people when they walk in on women screaming at each other and have missed the nuance that came with years of watching the Countess become just Luann, lose her “full cast member” status, and then come back with a vengeance first as a drunk, then a cabaret singer and, ultimately, humbled. For my aforementioned and beloved “Challenge,” Jeff walked in at the exact moment two women were slapping each other with dead fish while wearing bikinis on a balance beam and so trying to speak to the series as the equivalent of a professional sport became moot.
I could instead point to some docuseries on Netflix as solid on-ramps. You may question the difference between a docuseries and a reality show; I consider the two related, sometimes overlapping, but not always. Much like a square is a rectangle but all rectangles are not squares, I would say a docuseries is a reality show, but there are many reality shows (primarily competition-based ones) that are not docuseries. “Chef’s Table” or “Cheer” don’t feel like reality shows and with under 10 episodes a season are more digestible.
I also think calling something a docuseries classes it up a bit. While the Real Housewives franchise is technically a docuseries, were I to call it that in an effort to get my husband to watch episodes with me, it might denigrate the entire genre. “Below Deck” gives off some high class vibes until you watch charter guests ask for theme parties and to be slapped in the face by the crew (fortunately not with fish). Similarly, there are many reality shows that are higher brow than some docuseries. Obviously “Great British Bakeoff” comes to mind as does “Top Chef.” Basically, it might be easier to get people on board if I focused on shorter time commitments and programs that highlight tremendous skill and accomplishment.
Spoiler: I will not be doing that.
Instead, I will point you to what I believe is the greatest study of human interaction and social skills in recorded history: “Love Island UK.” Now, this show averages 50+ episodes a season (you can skip the weekly “After Sun” episodes but DO NOT skip the “Unseen Bits”) so is decidedly not digestible. It’s also a dating show and based on what I said about “The Bachelor,” why would anyone waste their time? Well… let me ask you to open your mind for a moment and imagine a better world.
Imagine a villa in Mallorca that is bleach white with neon accents where 20-somethings only have three outfits: bathing suits, workout clothing & cocktail attire and where the producers have saved tons of money because this over-the-top villa has no actual views and could legit be in anyone’s backyard but they wanted good weather for filming. Now imagine that these people have to be “coupled up” to stay and that being “coupled up” means you have to share a bed and play weird games at least once a week that always involve a sexy spin on carwashes, cheerleaders or… TSA? All sounds beyond trashy, right? By contrast, “The Bachelor” goes to exotic locations and everyone stays clothed and there’s often candlelight.
Here’s the twist: the Love Island UK contestants (1) become actual friends with each other in a very authentic way and (2) instead of stretching out unnecessary drama for multiple episodes — or weeks — egged on by producers, actually communicate about and resolve conflict in healthy and mature ways (for 20-somethings). You find yourself genuinely liking most of the people and appreciating who they are and what they want.
“Love Island UK” is not a docuseries and it’s not high brow but once you watch it and realize how many genius elements have been stolen and poorly adapted by American reality producers (I’m looking at you “F***boy Island”), you will see it for what it truly is: a standard bearer in contemporary storytelling and modern romance.
Top 10 Things About Love Island UK
The timing. It’s essentially real time which means that contestants joining later have WATCHED earlier episodes and know some of the drama and controversy. It also means that the entire thing isn’t edited with a pre-determined narrative. Instead of starting the season knowing you’re being manipulated because the end is all set, you watch knowing that editors are discovering heroes (some), villains (few) and unintentional comedians (most) along with you.
The audience participation. Like “American Idol” and other US shows with voting, the UK audience is getting to vote live on a regular basis on favourite guy and girl in the villa which means that the people no one really likes or cares about… go home.
The producers. They are geniuses. I don’t want to get so hyperbolic that you don’t take me seriously but other than Gandhi not receiving a Nobel Peace Prize, the “Love Island” producers not winning one for Chemistry is the second greatest tragedy in that award’s history (still time to rectify though!). Admittedly, they have an advantage because all the audience voting means they have constant real time data on public opinion. Their involvement feels authentic and on the occasions when you think someone’s being manipulated, it’s also obvious enough that anyone who isn’t a drunk and sun-poisoned 24 year old in Mallorca would figure it out immediately.
The vibe. No one is taking it too seriously. No one tells other people they’re not there for the right reasons and no one describes being on the show as a “journey.” I’m kind of done with other people’s journeys. Some of this comes from the range of people on the show from microbiologists to fishmongers to personal trainers. It’s just generally nice people there for a good time… not necessarily a long time.
The minimal hosting. Laura Whitmore shows up on camera about five times total the whole season and all other direction is provided through texts the contestants receive and have to read aloud to everyone there. Any other information you need is provided in the VO by Scottish comedian/narrator/former “Taskmaster” contestant/Laura’s husband Iain Stirling.
The slang. For Americans, you will likely need subtitles on and then will you have to google terms like “cracking on” and “grafting” and learn the nuance of “fit.” Also, whenever someone asks what someone else’s type is, they are not asking about values or personality but apparently only mean “what is your favorite combination of hair and eye color?”
The end goal. No one is getting married. The goal is to be in a couple at the end and if you’re voted on as the favorite couple then you decide if you’re staying together or if one of you takes a 50,000 GBP cash prize. Given that in the first three months post-series finale the top few couples are probably making 50K GBP a month in sponsorship deals, taking the prize money doesn’t matter that much but it makes all of it a little more realistic and less stressful if you’re just deciding if you want to stay together vs forcing a proposal that will never work out. It’s also probably why three of last season’s couples are still together.
The comedically low budget. Other than the villa and travel costs, they basically spend no money on these people. On multiple occasions a date outside the villa has just been a picnic set up on a driveway. In a recent episode, the date was just making lemonade together in a yard. Either way, I appreciate the fact that no one is wasting money on a D-list country music singer and making these people awkwardly slow dance.
The families. Final couples are visited by their families and get to meet their partner’s family. This is extra entertaining because THE FAMILIES HAVE BEEN WATCHING THEIR 20-SOMETHING CHILDREN MAKING OUT AND MAKING BAD DECISIONS FOR THE PREVIOUS TWO MONTHS. It’s so much more fun to watch everyone reunite having all the scoop on everything that’s been said (and sometimes more so because they also get to watch all the confessional footage that’s aired). Last season, one contestant’s mom walked in screaming “Chloe, you are a legend!!!” and it made me insanely jealous that my mother never had that opportunity.
Casa Amor. In the most incredible plot twist of all time, about halfway through the summer, the guys wake up to a text telling them to sneak out of the villa and they go to another villa (called Casa Amor) without saying goodbye where they find women waiting for them who are all exactly their types (see above re: hair and eye color) and then new men come and join the original women in the original villa. And they’re all tempted and after a week apart, they have to decide if they’re staying with their original partner or recoupling with someone from Casa Amor. And they make that decision separately informed only by (a) their actual interest in their two candidates, (b) their levels of trust and security — spoiler, typically low! and (c) the mind tricks played by the producers who almost always send out of context photos or videos to mess with them.
Just typing about Casa Amor has me so excited for it on this current season. You can watch season 8 on Hulu now but do NOT google as it’s two weeks ahead in the UK. I also highly recommend season 4 and season 7. Jeff recommends season 7 as an entry point because he thinks he got into it faster than this season but if you go that route wants you to know that he hates Faye.
I know very few of you reading this will make the ~50 hour commitment to watch Love Island (UK - do NOT watch the US version that is complete garbage) and I also have to note that you need to give it at least three episodes to get pulled in but Sophocles did say “without labor, nothing prospers.”
It seems unlikely given the 2000+ words written above that this will be my last missive on reality television but don’t let it scare you off if you’re into more sophisticated media like my highly evolved second child…